Is your bucket leaking?
You have probably heard about the cracks in the broken heart being where the light enters. But have you heard about holes in the heart? A heart with lots of holes in the bottom? A heart that can contain neither love not light for long, because it leaks?
There's a story, a Sufi story, about a student who went to visit his teacher. The teacher was known to be very eccentric and teach in crazy ways. This student was very well aware of this and had set his heart on going along with whatever the teacher would say or do. He knew that a lesson probably would be hidden in the craziness.
The teacher was thrilled to see his student at his doorsteps. "Great! Good to see you," he shouted. "Come and help me fetch water from the well."
They went to the well where the teacher started drawing water and pouring it into the bucket that the student was holding ready. The teacher joyfully and enthusiastically poured and poured, but the bucket never filled up.
"With respect! May I point out that the bucket is leaking?", the student asked, after a while.
The teacher laughed. "Oh, I didn't notice! I was only looking at the top of the bucket. What does the bottom have to do with it?"
There is a lot of talk about giving and receiving love these days. We are told that we have to fill ourselves with love in order to give love. And we are told that we have to give love in order to receive love. "You can't give what you don't have." (I use this phrase a lot myself)
Why then, even when we are given love from all directions, do we still worthless, good for nothing and unloved? Why is that?
Could it be that the "bucket" is leaking? Or, could it be that "the bucket" is so small that everything just spills out before we have had the chance to feel anything?
Our hearts have had to take a lot of hurtful experiences over the years. Loss of loved ones. Hurtful remarks and comments. Anxieties and worries. Like small and big arrows all these, and more, have plunged into our "bucket" with various force and intentions.
Not all arrows were meant to hurt or do damage. But they have anyway. And some of them have made holes in our heart.......or "the bucket". Other experiences were thrown in there, and left the to rust holes in the bottom.
Bog holes or tiny, small holes. Size doesn't matter. Even small, tiny holes can sink a ship.
How much of the love that comes our way are we able to keep? How much of it do we really feel deep inside us.
Many of us are not aware of having a leaking heart. A lot of us do not notice that the container has become so tiny over time that it can't hold enough for even a mouthful. We might feel disconnected and low on love but don't know why
Could it be because we are only concerned about what is being poured into our heart right now? Are we only looking at the top, enjoying what is poured in just for as long as it lasts, which may not be very long, before going back to feeling empty hearted, worthless, lacking and needy again?
More will never be enough.
No matter how much attention and love we are given, if our "bucket" is full of holes it will never fill up enough to quench our thirst for more.
Get yourself a new heart this spring. Let go of your old heart. No matter how much you are attached to it, let it go and install a new one. A clean and shining one. A heart without holes.
Get yourself a new heart and fill it with Divine love.
Throwing out your old heart and installing a new one is a bit more work that buying a new bucket. Actually it's the aftercare and maintenance that demands the most work and attention. That's the crucial part which decides wether or not your new heart will adapt to and function in your body. You must constantly be aware of just having undergone "heart surgery".
There will be certain things you will not want to do and other things you will have to learn how to do. And, there will be a lot of things that you will have to un-learn. You will have to watch your mental diet so as not to put unnecessary, too much or too little pressure on your new heart. You will have to exercise regularly and daily, just as you know you should in order to keep your physical heart healthy. You will have to take this dead seriously or else your heart will get sick and malfunctioning again.
Be sure to throw the old one so far away that you don't fall for the temptation of re-installing it again.
Can we really do this? I believe, yes! we can! We can change our hearts. We can use our intelligence to change the broken record that has caused our inner music to play in a replay loop of lack, for such a long time. We can decide and choose to shift our focus.
How? How do we do that?
There are many different ways and practices that can help and assist us with this, once we decide to do it. The method that works best for be in conscious breathing. It feels like sunbathing my heart. I simply bring my attention to my breath and breathe into my heart-space. I breathe and feel my heart soften and expand and fill up with love.
Sounds easy, doesn't it? It is easy. Most exercises to keep our mind and body fit are easy. But they must be done! Thinking about walking every day does not make you fit. Walking every day does.
We are built with a super-mechanism that lets us breathe automatically. I think this breathing mechanism has more merits than just filling our lungs with oxygen. I believe it was installed in us so that we would constantly be filled with Divine energy and love. Wether we are aware of it or not. However, with holes in our "bucket" only the physical heart and our body will benefit from the breathing. Our inner heart does not get the "oxygen" it needs to function properly.
Honestly and childlike, this is what I believe.
It is spring. Creation and re-creation is happening all around us. It's the perfect time to re-discover that tender spot inside our ribcage and give it a new start. A new birth.
Create a new container for love and see how your world will be re-created. Breathe as if your life were at stake, because it is.
Soak up the light like the moon when it's fully lit up by the sun. Every new drop of love will make your heart flow over with life-energy.